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| Sophie 2006 |
I jolt up like a piece of bread from a toaster.
Appenidicitus. Can kids get appendicitus? Get the iphone and Google...
I don't show her this mental panic though. I caress her head and gently lead her to a hot bath. I turn off the sharp lights and light an orange scented candle for her. Then I squat on the toilet seat and Google appendicitus in children. It is most common in children over 10 years old. She will be 11 in 3 months. It could be, let's relax. She tells me it is a "pulling" pain. It could be muscle soreness. She is a gymnast and spends 16 hours a week flipping, stretching and crashing. It could be that.
After 15 minutes she tells me it doesn't hurt anymore. I help her get dressed and put her back to bed.
Lately more than ever, it seems there is aways something. I deal with strep-throat, teething, boy-crushes, forgotten homework, abscessed teeth....tooth extractions, and we have $7 dollars left until Friday. This means the kids will be eating cereal, pancakes, ramen noodles, and My Little Pony fruit snacks. I cannot afford to have a rigid ideal. I need to flow with the other 4 lives in my family. I don't have to. I want to.
How exhausted would I be if I HAD to exercise and eat as I did 5 years ago?
My list of acceptable foods was maybe 15 items long. I was not allowed to skip runs. Exercise was necessary to allow myself to eat.
Now I am loose with all of it. When I feel that quick tightening, I remind myself, this is all a gift.
When Sophie came in with the ghost of appendicitus on her shoulder, I thought,
Well, I guess maybe I'm not running this morning.
Now it seems perhaps it was just a ghost, and I am free for the moment.
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